What Does Dating Mean?

It can mean to estimate the age of something, as in 'carbon dating'. That doesn't mean going on dates with carbon and is probably not the kind of dating you mean. You probably mean either going on dates with different people or going out with someone. 'Going out with someone' actually sounds like a bit of an Anglicism. Americans tend to say they are dating someone or seeing someone when they are entering into a relationship.

First, let's look at the 'going on dates' interpretation of the word. A much over-rated activity which in movies usually looks exciting but in real life is something which incites dread in the average non-extrovert. It really means finding a context in which to get to know someone. Unfortunately it is usually an artificial context and the feeling that one is there to judge and be judged is never far from the surface. I once read that the fact that first dates often take place in restaurants already dooms most of them to failure since one thing that makes women tense is food and eating while one thing that makes men tense is money; so you take two strangers who desperately want to seem relaxed and immediately put them in a situation where they have to deal with food and money.

Speed dating is something which has captured the imagination of the public both as an activity to try out and as a televised spectator sport where the practical nature and cruel grotesqueness of the modern world and its haste and desperation confront the traditional idea of getting to know someone and gradually falling in love with them. 'What do you do? How much do you make? What kind of music do you like? Next!' It brings out the worst of our social and class prejudices but nevertheless has a morbid fascination because it does reflect something about our real priorities.

And then there is 'dating' as in to be in a relationship with someone. No doubt the term carries connotations of being in the early days of the relationship; still sizing each other up perhaps. If someone says 'I'm dating this guy who's really tidy' you don't imagine that they've been together for two years but more probably two months or maybe two weeks. That early dating period is the most exciting and, for many, a period they look back on with nostalgia; when he used to bring her flowers or she used to give him massages. However, it also seems to be a traumatic period for many; just look at the number of articles on dating, particularly in women's magazines but also now in men's magazines and on all the majors on the Internet. 'Dating 101', 'Is he/she the right one for you? How to read the clues 'Is he/she cheating on you?' etc. etc. etc.

The fact that we need or heed the advice of so many 'professionals' in this field suggests that we're all a little lost. Is it too much choice? Unrealistic expectations? More educated individuals with greater economic freedom allowing more mixing of socio-economic groups than would have occurred before? Who knows? Were we happier before when we dated and married people from our neighborhood and shared possibilities and expectations bound by social-economic background? It sounds horribly conservative, not to mention downright boring, to suggest such a hypothesis, but if sociologists and divorce statistics are to be believed it might just be that when it comes to dating our enhanced freedom of choice and freedom from parental and societal pressure actually leaves many of us in relationships which ultimately fail and which smug outsiders will describe as doomed from the beginning.

So, how to avoid such painful outcomes? Doing dating better could be one answer, for that is when we have the opportunity to gauge our compatibility with a potentially long-term partner. But how do we do dating better? I honestly don't know how we can get our hands on that superior, more reliable compass, but a compass is what we need and you can see again and again how the most practical among us use one. It seems the rest of us are not well-equipped for the task and therefore simply not very good at it.

Peru's Chavin Civilization

There were many advanced civilizations that existed in Peru before the Incas. One of these was the Chavín. This culture was dominant in Northern Peru during their time periods. Here we take a look back.

The Chavín

Although the Chavín were once thought to date from 900 to 200 BC, carbon dating at the principal archaeological site for the culture, Chavín de Huantar, has reveal Chavín style artifacts dating from around 1200 BC. The site may even have been inhabited earlier than that. The influence of the culture was widespread, from as far north on the coast of Peru as Piura down to as far south as Paracas. In the highlands, it ranged from Chavín in the North to Pucara in the south.

The people had advanced abilities in metallurgy and were able to refine gold. They domesticated llamas for working animals, for the wool and for eating. Trading llama jerky was a great part of the Chavín economy. They also cultivated crops, particularly quinoa and potatoes, using an irrigation system to aid in the growth of these foods. Guinea pigs, birds, deer, clams and shellfish were also part of their diet.

As with other early cultures in Peru, this one is well known for its use of ceramics. The temples at Chavín de Huantar are decorated with pottery and sculptures, as well as with carvings. Among the animals depicted are not ones found locally but, rather, such creatures as eagles, jaguars and caimans. Felines, in particular, are important in the culture's artwork. The inclusion of such exotic animals has led some to think that the people may have originally come from the jungle.

Among the deities of the people, the principal one is a fanged god with hair that is made from snakes. Also present are a flying caiman representing food, anacondas representing the god of the underworld and jaguars to represent the supernatural world in general.

A central theme of the culture's religion is the idea of shape shifting, that is, the transformation of humans to animals or part animals through the use of hallucinogenic plants. A typical transformation involves the changing of the human head to that of a jaguar. The San Pedro cactus grows in the area surrounding the site and is used for ritual ceremonies for their hallucinogenic properties.

Shamans were highly respected and referred and accorded power due to their connection to the divine. It is believed that through the rites and ceremonies, these religious leaders could and did knowingly affect change in the civilization. It is not yet known if only the shamans took San Pedro or if the people in general did so as well.

The Chavín de Huantar site, in addition to being a religious center, was a political one as well. It is a huge site, believed to have been completed around 900 BC. It is now a UNESCO world heritage site where visitors can see the extensive planning and complex construction of this important center.